3 Tips to Prevent or Reduce Bullying

As our Kaleidoscope Connect framework teaches, sometimes kids get labeled based only on their negative behaviors and are seen in “black and white.” Bullies are a perfect example of labeling, where we have lost focus of their positive traits and let the “bullying” define our views of those students.  

Instead, ALL kids – including bullies and those being bullied – should be seen and understood in "Full Color." That means instead of looking at what’s wrong with students, we should look at – and amplify – what’s right. 

Here are three tips to prevent or reduce bullying:

1. Assume bullies need a thicker “web of support.” The more caring and connected adults (Anchors) in the lives of youth, the stronger their webs. Instead of labeling students as bad, you (the adult) can work to understand the webs of support they live upon. You will get more traction with students by focusing on what is right and strong in their webs, and amplifying the positive in their lives.
   

2. Support bullies to see their world in Full Color. You need to have connections to bullies before you can affect their attitudes and actions. So, work to grow a relationship with a bully. When you become one of their Anchors, they will more readily accept your guidance and support. By focusing on the positive aspects of their webs, bullies will begin to see themselves in Full Color, and begin to make small adjustments to grow their webs of support. They will become more caring, empathetic, resilient, and less inclined to bully others.
   

3. Build and nurture relationships with students who are victims of bullying. If students who are bullied have strong webs of support, they will need their webs sustained (making sure the bullying does not erode their webs, or reduce their self-efficacy). If they are thinly-webbed, then they need their webs thickened by adding more Anchors to mitigate and filter the unkind words and actions. As an Anchor, you can work alongside a bullied student to filter, frame, and reduce the negative comments and/or actions. They will then be more likely to catch your strength, and add it to their own.

To learn more about the Kaleidoscope Connect’s Full Color framework, please visit our website. 

Why Kaleidoscope Connect Matters

For nearly a decade, Jennie “JenJen” McLean has been involved with Kaleidoscope Connect through our Academies that teach adults the principles and practices of Integrative Youth Development (IYD), and Phlight Clubs which are multi-day, life-changing youth development events. 

JenJen recently sat down to discuss the impact Kaleidoscope Connect has had on her and the youth in her life.  

Q: JenJen, tell me about yourself. 

A: I have lived in Fairbanks, Alaska my entire life. I knew from an early age that I liked kids and wanted to be involved in their lives. I connected with the kids. I understood their challenges and aspirations. I live to nurture young people, validate them, and make an impact on their futures.  

Q: How long have you been participating in and supporting students through Phlight Clubs? 

A: Since 2008, when I worked at Yukon-Koyukuk School District (YKSD). My colleague and mentor, Andrea Durney, told me about an upcoming Phlight Club that the district was hosting for teens from our middle and high schools, and invited me along.  

During that first Phlight Club, my primary role was to feed and nurture the 50+ students who attended. After I saw the power of Phlight Club and how it affected the kids who attended, I became a part of the team.  

Over the next 8 years, I have attended 16 Phlight Clubs, first as an adult co-leader and then as a facilitator.  

Q: In what ways have you seen Phlight Club and the IYD principles and practices impact youth and adults in their communities? 

A: Phlight Club changes the way teens see themselves.  

Kids in YKSD live in small villages and are raised not only by parents, but also by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. Phlight Club shows them how important it is to maintain those relationships, and it deepens their sense of pride about who they are and what they are capable of. It supports them in growing family, school, and community bonds. And, from this, their self-esteem rises.  

If kids are “thinly-webbed” (lacking a strong support system), Phlight Club teaches them how to “grow their balloons” (develop resilience and self-esteem) and strengthen their webs of support by giving them the confidence to reach out to caring adults (Anchors) to connect and develop special bonds.  

I’ve witnessed quiet, reluctant, and vulnerable kids walk into a Phlight Club looking terrified. Within hours, these same kids have bonded with their peers, made friends and connected with Anchors.  

We adults are all impacted by witnessing the rapid transformation in the kids, and realizing the role that we, as adults, can play in their development. 

The mindset that teens adopt doesn’t disappear when Phlight Club ends. I see kids outside of Phlight Club on a regular basis, in various community settings. Even kids who attended years ago, still talk about their experience and how they have maintained strong connections to this day. They leave equipped with tools that propel them into adulthood.  

Q: How have you personally been affected by what you've learned through Phlight Club and Academy training. 

A: I’ve been affected both personally and professionally. It has changed me.  

Through the Academies and Phlight Clubs, a whole new world was opened for me. I learned that I, too, need a strong web of support and I gained the courage to seek Anchors and develop my leadership skills. I’ve learned that by helping kids grow their balloons, my own balloon also grows. 

Being a Phlight Club leader has reinforced and validated my nurturing skills and love for helping youth. It has provided me with a framework and setting to refine and apply my skills and see, first hand, how students’ lives are improved.  

I now arrange my entire life and my schedule around my involvement in Phlight Clubs.  

Q: What are three key or important reasons you think that a YOUTH should get involved with Phlight Club? 

A: Phlight Clubs wake kids up. They begin to understand that they are not “broken” and they learn how to build their webs of support. They develop the self-confidence and resilience they need to avoid risk-taking behaviors and to thrive. The effect on teens is permanent.  

There are so many reasons why youth should get involved, but if I had to pick three they would be:

• Surviving

• Succeeding

• Seeing themselves and others in “Full Color”: recognizing what makes them unique, resilient and successful in life.

Q: What are three key or important reasons you think that an ADULT should get involved with Phlight Club and Kaleidoscope Academies? 

A: There are so many teens in our communities who need more Anchors. Getting involved with Phlight Club not only helps improve the lives of the youth who attend, but it also teaches the adults how to effectively communicate and connect with them.  

I can’t count the number of kids I’ve Anchored over the years, but I can tell you that I have gained as much as I have given. The Academies have helped me take my knowledge of youth development to the next level. 

Three reasons to get involved are: 

• Making a measurable difference in the lives of children

• Growing family connections

• Strengthening community ties

Q: Any last words you would like to say? 

A: In my ideal world, all children would have a chance to attend at least one Phlight Club in their lives. Our youth would be much better equipped to thrive amid the constant yet unpredictable changes and challenges they face. Wouldn’t we all love to see our communities filled with kids who are healthy, happy, and productive? 

To learn more about Kaleidoscope Connect, Phlight Clubs, and Kaleidoscope Academies, please visit our website or contact Cindy Barnes at cbarnes@brightwayslearning.org. 

From Shy Kid to Community Leader - How PHlight Club Helped Gerald Shine

By Gerald Patsy

I was born and raised in Nulato, an Alaskan village along the Yukon river about 350 miles west of Fairbanks with a population of 270. A member of the Koyukon people, I lived with my Grandmother from the time I was four years old.

As a young child and early teenager, I was very quiet and shy. While I felt comfortable around the people I knew, I found speaking in front of strangers to be very frightening. I didn’t want to be disrespectful and I knew I needed a push to get me out of my shell. My shyness was holding me back and affecting my ability to shine.

Then in 2008, when I was in 7th grade, I had a life-altering experience. My school hosted a PHlight Club – an interactive youth leadership and empowerment experience  –  that required me to spend 3 days and nights away from home, participating in Connecting Activities with peers and adults. Not only was I skeptical, I was scared!

On the first day, I met Derek Peterson, the leader of PHlight Club. He was talkative and friendly and had a way of making me feel comfortable. We connected. And, through that connection, he encouraged me to join in on the activities.

By the second day, I was getting it. I surprised myself. I was learning how to create a “web of support,” comprised of at least five caring adults (Anchors) who would help me weave a strong, secure web. I learned how to identify and measure seven key factors that would help me grow and thrive. I was opening up and feeling more confident.

By the end of the third day, I saw myself and the world around me differently. I felt optimistic and resilient. I wasn’t the same shy kid I had been three days earlier. From deep inside of me, I could feel a leader emerging. I knew I wanted tocontinue being a part of PHlight Club and work with Derek, and I couldn’t wait to apply what I had learned into my everyday life.

Over the next eight years, I attended more than a dozen PHlight Clubs – first as a participant and eventually as a chaperone and then a leader. Each time, I learned something new about myself. I connected with Anchors, including Derek and my Grandma, who acted as role models to guide and support me.

I got involved in my community, taking on leadership roles in my school, region, and beyond. I became an Anchor for younger kids. I embraced my culture by working to preserve the Athabaskan language through native songs.

In March of 2014, I received the Chief Andrew Isaac Youth Leadership Award. Later that year in October, as a youth representative to the Tanana Chiefs Conference executive board I received the Alaska Federation of Natives’ Roger Lang Youth Leadership Award. Nominees for the awards had to be young men of high school age or students in college who demonstrated exceptional leadership qualities.

PHlight Club changed me. I’m now a happy 22-year-old, living and thriving in Fairbanks where I’m working full-time and planning to continue my higher education.  My web of support is stronger than ever, I am connected to people, and I feel loved and supported. And, yes, I’m still a PHlight Club leader, helping other shy, timid kids to blossom.